Random Debate: Microwaves vs. Pants

Hi! I want to tell you all of the wonderful things about microwaves!

And I would like to tell you about pants and all of their benefits.

Microwaves are the newest, fastest way of cooking and reheating your food!

Pants keep your legs warm in the winter.

New technology is taking away all ill health effects thought to be caused by microwaves, making them quite safe to use. 

Except the radiation frying your brain when you stand in front of it. 

That's a myth!

Nope! The directions warn you about them!

It's just a precaution.

If it was useless, they wouldn't put it there.

I disagree.

That's 'cause you're stupid.

You're just bitter because your precious pants are becoming less popular with kids and teens because of the growing popularity of-

 Don't you say it!

Shorts. 

I told you not to say it! They're getting shorter and shorter! *sob*

I know, honey. It's okay. That's why microwaves are going to win.

It's so hopeless! Why do shorts do this to me?! They are taking over the world! 

I'll take over. So, microwaves win this particular debate, but only (not really, but because pants supporter is crying her eyes out here) because shorts are taking over. Until next time. 

Microwaves are superior. If you disagree, comment about it.